Ty The Knot

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Archives for January 2022

3 Secrets to Leadership: You Were Born to Lead

3 Secrets to Leadership

There is no doubt that leadership is for every man. Some men question whether they have leadership qualities. I am here to dispel any myths you’ve heard about leadership being for some and not others.

In this post I am going to tell you the 3 secrets to leadership. These 3 secrets to leadership you to understanding why you are a leader and the importance of leadership in your life.

The 3 secrets to leadership every man must know

Do you know that you were born to lead? Yes, that’s right and I know this because God designed us that way. Allow me to share this scripture with you:

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” (Genesis 1:26)

1. We Have The Nature

According to the scripture above, we are made in the image of God. That means, if we are made in the image of God then we have the nature of God which is to lead and rule or “have dominion”. We may be able to list why we don’t lead effectively, but that’s all it is, a list. What is inside of us mitigates any list we can make which suggests we cannot lead.

We must first come to the knowledge of whose image we are made in and the attributes we possess as a result.

I want this to be clear to you, the image of God is what we are all made in. That is why you’ll see some great leaders who do not profess Jesus but lead in ways that would leave you scratching your head as to how that leader doesn’t “know” Christ.

Leadership can certainly be nurtured and trained, but we must realise and accept that we are called to lead in multiple areas of our life. It’s not a question of can we lead, it’s the understanding that we must lead. So, you know that your nature is to lead, you no longer have to question whether you can or should be leading. You must lead and do it with authority.

2. We Have the Authority

If we know we’re born to lead, then we should be comfortable in authority (over the world) and under authority. Being under the authority of God means seeking and discovering how He leads so that we can lead like Him. The key here is recognising the authority we are under because that is the way we will/should lead.

The problem I see quite often is that men are not aware of this. As a result, they either do not believe they have the authority to lead or reference an authority that doesn’t know the essence of true leadership. Authority has been given to you by God so you can lead as God intended.

We must remember that the call to lead is not one of ourselves that we should battle within to convince ourselves. The calling to lead is from God and He is the authority under which we position ourselves to lead.

Authority has been given to you by God so you can lead as God intended.

3. We Have The Ability

One of the biggest stumbling blocks when it comes to men exercising leadership is whether we have the ability. Good news – we have the ability to lead because God created us and commanded us to do so.

We don’t need a qualification/certificate to enable us to lead, we are equipped with the ability by our maker. In fact, it’d be wrong if God commanded us to lead and rule but didn’t equip us to do so. And we know God is never wrong.

Maybe you don’t know the area(s) in which you have the ability to lead effectively. That’s okay because we must have confidence that God has given us the ability to lead according to our gifts and personality.

We naturally lead in the area of our gift and find that in this area we are productive, intuitive, comfortable and influential. However, there are areas that we MUST lead in regardless of our natural gift such as work, business, marriage, parenting. There are many areas that we are not off the hook to just let someone else take the reins, but we must step up and step into the position(s) of leadership because we are able.

Rather than feeling inadequate or unprepared to lead we should know that we have divine permission to lead. We have no real reasons to shy away from our position as leaders according to what has been permitted by God, in His word.

In scripture we read how some of the most influential leaders had excuses as to why they couldn’t lead effectively – Moses asked Who am I? (Exodus 3:11), What if they don’t listen? (Exodus 4:1), I’ve never been a good speaker (Exodus 4:10). And as we read scripture, we see God’s response to Moses’ questions and reasons why he couldn’t lead, always affirming what was already in Moses – his nature to lead, the authority he’d been given, and the ability to be effective. God will do the same with us.

It’s time to trust and believe that you were born to lead, that you have authority to lead, that God has equipped to lead effectively. But perhaps, like Moses, you have excuses for not leading effectively. What do you believe God’s response might be?

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Married Men: Is Your Wife Number One?

Nearly all married men, if asked whether their wife is number one in their life, would answer, YES! Yet, so many wives, if asked whether they feel they are number one in their marriage, would answer, NO! I can hear some smart guy saying “God is number one in our marriage” and I’d have to agree because that should be the case, but please bear with me. Actually don’t bear with me, I’ll rephrase the question.

Is your wife the number one physical thing in your marriage? If your wife had to list 10 things that she loves that you do for her, would she struggle?

I have a friend who was having a tough time in his marriage and the problem arose because he was spending time and money on his mother and far less time and money on his wife. He didn’t understand why his marriage was being affected because he saw what he was doing as a necessity for his mother, whom he loves dearly.

The Holy Bible says something powerful in the book of Genesis, it says Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Why is this so powerful? Most men comprehend the notion of leaving their mother and father and the notion of being joined to their wife. However, it’s the final part of the verse that men stumble upon (and they shall become one flesh). Which is so vital for married men to understand. To focus on your wife is to focus on yourself and to focus on yourself is to focus on your wife. God is saying that a man and a woman become one when they are married, spiritually. And we know that what happens in the spirit is manifested in the physical. So, when we see men not having a focus on their wives wants and needs, there is a lack of understanding this spiritual principle.

To focus on your wife is to focus on yourself and to focus on yourself is to focus on your wife

Now, what are you going to do about it? The verse that follows the one above says And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. You’re going to do exactly as the word of God says: No more hiding behind “this is the way things are”, “our marriage isn’t so bad”, “I’m doing my best” and the many other excuses you can come up with. You are going to be naked and not ashamed.

Naked: Bearing all truth about your current situation with no excuses, taking total ownership like the leader you are. Communicating the truth with your wife and your willingness to make a change.

Not Ashamed: Open and honest, with yourself and your wife, putting aside pride and feelings of failure and guilt because you want to take your marriage to new heights and places so wonderful.

Know that you do not need a plan or to have everything figured out to be naked and not ashamed. You only need the willingness and the desire for a marriage the way God intended in the beginning.

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5 Things to Know (Before You Find Your Spouse)

The new year is in full swing and many of you are already behind on your plans/goals. I mean, one of your goals is to find your future husband/wife this year and you haven’t taken one step towards that goal yet. Why?

I’ll start with a disclaimer: If you want to achieve your goal of finding your future husband/wife and you think you can just sit, look pretty (or handsome) and wait for Mr/Mrs to swing by, you’re wrong. In fact, you’re so wrong that what I’m about to share with is going to shake you up so much that you’re either going to take action immediately or you’re going to shrink back and probably take no action for the whole year.

So, this is about you and not your future spouse, and I want you to know that the best position to be in when you meet your future spouse is the ready position (prepared).

That said, here are the 5 things you need to know before you find your spouse:

1. Why You?

I love the way so many people can tell you why that guy or that gal is so good for their spouse – “Oh she is so good around the house” or “She always supports his ideas” or “He’s so attentive to her needs”. Yes, that’s great, but what about you? Why are you right for your future spouse? Make a list. Can’t think of anything, that’s okay because I have good news for you – we all have something to offer and, often time, we have much more than we think. You just haven’t identified what you have, yet. Here’s a starter for how to identify your why: Ask family and friends what they love about you (personality traits, things you do), do a SWAT analysis of yourself, what interests/hobbies do you have? The things on your list are what make you interesting, they’re what you have to offer.

2. What You’re Willing To Give

Your life! I hear you, but I pray it doesn’t take that, otherwise…well you get the point. The funny thing is that if that’s your answer, you’re not far off because before you meet your spouse you should be doing/practicing the things you will be doing when you’re with your spouse. You can’t start learning how to make the bed when you meet your spouse! This is one of the main areas where people fall when they meet a potential spouse or, even worse, once they are married. Love is all about giving and most people have no practice in giving – giving when it makes no sense, giving when it doesn’t (seemingly) benefit you, giving when it’s all you have. Sacrificial giving. Anyone can give/love when it’s easy (during the honeymoon period). True giving will make a life with your spouse on life long honeymoon!

3. Where You’re Willing To Go

You can buy a flight to the other side of the world and see what the opposite sex is like there. To be honest, I was thinking a bit more local. When was the last time you went somewhere different – a new town, a social club/venue in a new area, a meeting/conference on a topic that your interested in or would like to know more about? Seeing and experiencing more will enhance you as a person and give you more insight into what you really want in a spouse.

4. What You’re Willing To Do

This is closely linked to point 3 in that you cannot continue doing the same things, going to the same places and expecting something different to happen. Yes, no two experiences are exactly the same and your spouse might just have moved into town and be heading to same social club you go to every month, but you have to give your spouse the best chance of meeting you. And besides, going to new places will make you more interesting and widen your network. Places and people aside – what are you willing to do (NOW)? Do you have things/yourself in order or are you making excuses as to why there’re things still undone? Do you know what you want in life? Do you have a clear list of goals and dreams so that when you meet your future spouse you can share them, honestly, so they know you are serious and committed to achieving them (showing you’re a committed person)? The more you do the more you increase the list in point number 1.

5. Who You’re Willing To Give Up (invite in)

This goes both ways. You may have people that you need to give up and/or people you need to invite in. We often find ways to make it acceptable for people that we don’t need to be around us to stay in our lives. Often time it’s because we do not want to hurt feelings or because of nostalgia, but the truth is we do not need certain people in our lives because it’s detracting from our growth. And the opposite is also true, we often do not invite into our lives those we need to be around because of our own feelings – what will they think of me being around them, they’re all married and I’m single. You need to be around couples who are in a healthy, happy marriage like you desire to be. Learn from them.

[jetpack-related-posts]